Non-sexual friendships are vitally important to everyone, especially to guys like me who deal with same-sex attraction (SSA). God has used my friends again and again to help me in my fight against sexual sin. In my next few posts, I will be telling the stories of male friendships that have had the most impact on my life.
When my gay brother, Brad, who shared a dorm room with me, received his “booty call” from some guy one night, I decided I had to move out. It was then that a guy named Brandon invited me to come live with him.
I met Brandon at the church I attended in college. He was thin with blonde hair, but what stood out to me most was the intensity of emotion behind his words and actions.
Brandon was a “sensitive guy” who also happened to be very straight. We became friends because we shared in common the most important thing to each of us: our relationship with God.
Brandon lived in a low rent house crowded with other Christian college students. The place was located behind a bar called The Guzzling Gator, and it was common to have drunk guys urinating outside my bedroom window or passing out in the backyard.
But I didn’t care how bad the house’s location was; I was just happy to have moved out and be living with my friend, Brandon!
One hot summer night with no air-conditioning, Brandon and I had an argument over what speed we should set the ceiling fan. Things very quickly degenerated to the point where every conversation would turn into an argument.
We were both Christians living in a house full of Christians, so we soon realized that we needed to change.We asked each other’s forgiveness for our behavior that was so lacking in Christian love.
What we did next is what turned everything around: We agreed to pray together whenever an argument started; needless to say, we prayed together a lot over the next few months, and that brought us incredibly close as friends.
We hugged often, and yes, we discussed my battle with SSA, too.
When Brandon left school and joined the military, I was the only one with him at the bus station saying goodbye. When he later finished his military commitment, I had already moved to a large city hundreds of miles away, but he called me and asked if he could move in with me and some other guys there.
Brandon valued our friendship so much that he decided to leave his friends and family in his hometown and start over where I lived!
To be continued . . .
Do you currently or have you ever lived with other guy(s)? What’s been great, and what’s been challenging about these male living situations? Are you open about SSA with your roommates?
* Photo courtesy mharvey.nyc, Creative Commons.