How does a middle-aged, single, Christian guy dealing with same-sex attraction (SSA) embark upon and survive a midlife crisis? My next series of posts will tell my midlife crisis story.

When I was in my mid-forties, I found myself in a somewhat stagnant place in life. I had been at the same job for twenty years and actually sat in the same desk for fifteen of those years. I had also been in the same church for those twenty years and had many friends.

However, most of my friends started drifting away because of the demands of their wives, their children, their careers, and their big mortgages.

I realized then that my main goals in life were to remain safe and comfortable. I accomplished this by accumulating more and more money.

With all this safety and comfort, however, I actually felt less happy and more unsettled. My anxiety centered around the knowledge that I was “burying my talents,” to use Jesus’ analogy.

In other words, my goals were all wrong. I was not accomplishing what really mattered.

It was clear that I was selfishly living an easy life that didn’t help anyone else and did little or no eternal good.

I felt trapped. If I left my nice job and nice house, I would not have the easy life I craved. I hated my stagnation but was too afraid to do anything about it.

But then something changed my life.

A friend’s son was having trouble with his high school chemistry and algebra courses, and I volunteered to tutor him and his classmate. These kids had Christian parents and went to a Christian school, but I soon realized their hearts were far from God. They passed their classes and graduated, but not before they introduced me to the dark side of their Christian school.

I saw serious needs among these Christian school kids, and I decided to do whatever I could to point them to Jesus Christ. Little did I know, that decision would completely change my life in dramatic ways!

Have you experienced a midlife — or “quarter-life” — crisis? How have you responded when your life hit stagnation and you saw a need for drastic change?


    Jesus told us to deny ourselves, take up our cross, and follow Him. I seek to do that with great joy, because He is better than everything we give up! Also I want to love others in an unselfish way as Jesus taught. I currently do my best to live out that kind of love with 15 other friends on a farm near the Maryland suburbs of Washington, D.C. I love talking about what really matters, and seeing a friend's heart turn from pain to joy, from fear to peace, and from despair to hope! My writing tends to focus on the topic of friendships with other guys. I have never married and am currently the oldest author on YOB.

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